Disappointment

I am disappointed, to say the least. My National Board scores were supposed to be released on Friday morning. Then they extended the release until noon. Then 5:00. Then 7:00. The wait was torture! Finally they said they would NOT be releasing scores and wouldn't have a timeline for when they would release them. After many hours of waiting, they were released Sunday morning. I went to bed around 12:00 am and then woke up at 3:00 am after having a dream that the scores had been released. I went and checked, and there they were! In order to pass my boards, I needed a 2.3 on my portfolio for a total score of 275 points. I scored a 2.25. Overall I made a 274. I missed 275 point by 5 hundredths of a point! To say that I am disappointed is the understatement of the year. One year ago, I missed 275 points by 3/10ths of a point and now one whole year later and I still not there. I sacrificed so much of the last 2 years working on these boards. It hardly seems worth it. I was frustrated, disappointed, and even angry. I cried, a lot more than I anticipated that I would. But then something happened on Sunday afternoon. I was sitting on the couch, hugging my kids and I hearing them talk to me and tell me stories. And I realized this...My kids don't care if I have the stupid letters NBCT after my name. They won't remember back to their childhood and think, oh, my mom worked so hard to make a few more dollars a month because those things aren't important. I wrote this on my Facebook status on Sunday and I think it sums up my feelings exactly!

It's been an interesting day to say the least. I am thankful to everyone for their messages, texts, and hugs! I am so blessed to have so many people around me who love and support me like you do. It's been a rough day but I was able to put things in perspective. I serve a Lord who has blessed me with a passion and gift for teaching little ones. He doesn't put value in my ability to perform on asubjective test. I can't take those test scores or extra money with me when I pass on so I definitely don't need to put any value in them! What is important is how I honor Him and Glorify Him in my actions and show his love and mercy through me to my friends, family, students and their parents! Thanks again for your kind words of affirmation and support. I'm going to try again and if I get it... wonderful. If I don't, oh well, my blessed life continues to go on!

There really isn't much more to say about it. The National Board process is a 3 year process and right now I am just thankful that I have one more year to try. I will keep you updated with my progress!